Boudoir Photography Clients To Avoid

Along the way, I’ve developed relationships with my boudoir photography clients. They share stories and, with each story, I always take away something that I believe can be beneficial in either my own business or beneficial to other photographers.

The latest tip I’m about to share is really quite straightforward and simple but I feel it’s important to say it aloud (and even louder for those in the back):

IT’S OK TO SAY NO.

And by this I mean, it’s really quite fine to say NO to prospective clients when you’re not digging their vibe … if you get the sense that they just don’t align with your ideal type of client. In fact, I highly HIGHLY recommend you do say no to these individuals. Here’s why …

Once upon a time, we took on the wrong type of client. A client who absolutely did not fit our ideal client persona. You can read the full story here but to sum it up, here’s what we learned from the experience …

When you take on the wrong client, you can expect to be:

• Expending time and energy explaining the benefits of your product or service (as well as your process)

• Feeling under-appreciated, undervalued, and sometimes downright disrespected

• Handling lots of complaints from the customer or client

• Chasing down payments you’re owed

• Feeling unfulfilled by what you’re delivering

• Dreading emails or phone calls from the customer or client

• Dealing with headaches … lots of headaches

In chatting with some of our favorite boudoir photographer friends, they’ve shared similar stories. (Yay! We’re not alone!!) From what I’ve gathered, here’s a list of personality traits that you’ll probably want to steer clear of as a boudoir photographer (a.k.a When you meet an individual who demonstrates these traits, go running for the hills and don’t look back!).

1.) The overly needy client.

These types mean no harm. They don’t even know they’re doing it! And to be honest, they mostly can’t help themselves. They’re the ones who will blow up your Inbox constantly. Asking you what to wear. What color to paint their nails. What to wax. What not to wax. They will also start to feel comfortable with you and vent to you about their dating life or how awful it is that they can’t find matching socks.

Listen, you boudoir photographers are amazing. Y’all must have majored in psychology because let’s face it … many women have insecurities. The true art of boudoir is all about empowering women and promoting self love. You should absolutely want to make your clients feel comfortable and build a relationship with them. You should absolutely nurture your clients and dual as a therapist of sorts when needed. That’s totally cool and you do it very well. However, I’m not talking about the clients who need a basic level of support from you. I’m talking about the ones who are OTT (OVER THE TOP). They can’t get out of their own way and they’re going to make you crazy before they ever even step foot in your door. Time is money! Remember, the more time you spend dealing with the overly needy is less time you can dedicate toward working with your dream clients.

2.) The client who makes you go, “You want me to photograph WHAT?!”

I find I keep hearing more and more of these stories … especially when it comes to couples boudoir. However, I can totally see it coming up with solo sessions, too. You are photographing nude women [and men] so I’m guessing your comfort threshold is pretty vast anyway. Clients might ask you to photograph some things that are down and dirty, perhaps kinky. If that’s your thing, awesome. If it’s not, and it’s outside of what you feel comfortable shooting, say no NOW. This is why a pre-booking consult is imperative. You learn so much from people when you hear what their expectations are. If they want you to photograph them with their significant other engaging in some super X-rated fantasy, and that’s just not how you roll, say no NOW. Say no before they’re in your studio and things get uncomfortable. There’s a photographer out there for them but it doesn’t have to be you.

3.) The creepy client.

I’m all about safety because let’s be real … people be cray! If someone is giving you the heebie jeebies and they make the hair on the back of your neck stand up, walk away. I don’t care if they’re a man, woman, black, white, polka dotted, undecided, have six heads, or hold the world record for largest Bible collection. You have the right to feel safe at all times and wouldn’t you rather be safe than sorry? Most of our clients work out of a studio, whether it be in their home or a private studio in a store front. Generally it’s just the photographer and the client for several hours. You may have hair and makeup peeps, but maybe you don’t, or maybe they do their thing, then leave. You should NEVER put yourself in a situation that can put you in harms way. I don’t care what they’re willing to pay you for a sitting fee. Listen to your gut.

4.) The know-it-all.

Lord have mercy, these stories kill me. Listen, they exist. The clients who took a photography class or two offered through the local community college … they learned some basics and now they’re an expert! Yeah, those clients. They’re going to school you on all sorts of things. The good news is you do have a chance with a client like this if you can bring them down off their high horse. However, if you can’t manage to convince them that YOU’RE the expert on boudoir lighting, posing, etc. and they want to continue to be super pushy … say goodBYE. Pinterest is a beautiful thing, as is Instagram, but you’re not in the business of replicating Pinterest boards. You provide a unique experience. “I totes love that filtered selfie of you on IG, but that’s not what I do here.” 🙄

5.) The never gonna be satisfied client.

These folks are not always spotted easily. However, if you watch and/or listen close … whether it be in conversations you have with them or by stalking their social media accounts … I’ll bet you can pick them out. They’re the ones who are going to ask you for the world, lined in gold, with glitter on top. And when you deliver said sparkly masterpiece, they’ll be drastically unappreciative and unsatisfied. There is no satisfying some people. No matter the time, energy, or effort. Do not waste precious time on these people. If you see them constantly complaining about other people or businesses (especially other photographers!), you spot several bad reviews they have written, or you get the sense they’re completely unreasonable … those are red flags. Run!!

6. The B.I.T.C.H. (both on or off wheels)

To be blunt, there are some mean people out there. There are selfish, greedy, rude, and downright bad people out there. Do not get into a war with these people even if you think you can out-bitch them. It’s not worth your time and you don’t need to subject yourself to that type of treatment. You’re the expert. The professional. You should be treated as such. You should be respected and be treated kindly, just as you treat your clients. So in the words of Bhad Bhabie “bye Bitch.”

Build a profile for your dream client using our free client persona builder!

Once you know exactly who your dream client is, you’ll never make the mistake of taking on a nightmare client ever again. Download our free Client Persona Builder today!

Listen, you’re the boss. It’s your business. But if you take on one of these types of clients I just mentioned, don’t say I didn’t warn you. The bottom line is, you have your ideal client persona. Whether you have formally created one or not, we all have that ideal client that we dream of. Of course, not every client is going to be easy peasy perfect. But it’s about setting boundaries and identifying when a potential client is WAY out of range.

Time is money. ESPECIALLY in a creative industry. Your work and value is priceless as it is something that comes from the depths of your soul. Your eye is unmatched and can’t be replicated, which does come with a price tag. What’s important is that you not compromise or discount your price tag inadvertently by spending way too much time on these undesirable types.

-Katie

Branding Your Boudoir Photography Blog

Photo by Jernej Graj on Unsplash

Earlier this week we published a new article on How To Design A Blog Post. While it’s important that your posts are interesting to your audience and grammatically correct, there’s another aspect of blogging that sometimes gets forgotten about.

The design.

In Tuesday’s post, we shared tips for making your content shine by applying some simple design concepts. And, of course, that got us thinking about our core client … the boudoir photographer. In today’s post, we’re going to share nine design tips specific to a boudoir photography blog.

1.) Coordinate your blog design with your website design.

Keeping in line with your brand is incredibly important. (FYI: This applies to everything you put out there, not just your blog.) The fonts. colors, and patterns that you use on your website should be incorporated into the design of your blog. Mismatched marketing leads to an audience disconnect and will ultimately stunt your brand recognition efforts. When visitors to your website hop over to your blog, or vice versa, they should feel like they’re still in the same space.

2.) Create a header.

According to the Brand Solopreneur:

“A header is the first thing a visitor sees when landing on your blog, so just like a bad piece of meat can ruin a dish, a poorly constructed header can squander a first impression.”

Your header should include your logo and also a clear, concise description of what your blog and brand are all about.

The Brand Solorpreneur also has this to say about creating a blog header:

“Be aware of what I call the ‘hotdog effect’ when designing your header. You do not want to put everything but the kitchen sink in there. Your header is a qualifier for visitors. It should tell them enough that they can make a quick determination if they want to learn more or leave.”

3.) Use pull quotes and big, bold headers to satisfy the skimmer.

Boudoir is a hot topic and there are many questions your future clients need answered. Make sure your blog posts are easy to skim. The main points of each article should stand out from the rest of the text, allowing the reader to get the gist of the post even if they don’t have time to read the entire thing.

In a study on how people read websites, the Nielsen Norman Group discovered that “79 percent of test users always scanned any new page they came across; only 16 percent read word-by-word.”

Needless to say, it’s important to highlight the main points of your post in order to keep people scrolling through the content!

4.) Use photography that identifies with your target client persona.

Your blog is the perfect place to attract new client leads. So make sure you’re doing what it takes to attract the right ones! People are visual by nature so imagery will play a key role in your blog design. While you’ll want to use photos that reasonably coordinate with the topics of each post, you’ll also want to consider whether or not the photos you select will resonate with the right people (a.k.a. your target client persona). Each time you go to select photos to use with your blog posts, keep your dream client in the back of your mind and ask yourself how each photo would make them feel. Would it appeal to them or be off-putting in some way? Again, your blog should be a lead generating tool. Get the right leads for your boudoir business by always keeping your target client persona at the forefront of your copywriting and design decisions!

5.) Promote your workbooks, guides, checklists, etc.

Do you offer a free guide, workbook or checklist to your website visitors or clients? Content offers like these should be promoted in every single one of your blog posts. Remember what we just talked about above. You need to treat your blog like a lead generating tool. If you’re not giving visitors an obvious way to opt-in to your content, you’re missing an enormous opportunity!

6.) Tell a story.

Boudoir photography is all about empowerment. Take a moment to think about just how many people’s lives you’ve touched. Just how many women you’ve made feel BEAUTIFUL. These stories are pure gold for your blog.

The art of boudoir photography is simply unknown to many people. Some might even think it’s scary or intimidating. However, seeing and reading about actual human beings who went through the experience can be a very powerful thing. Utilize your evangelists and ask to feature their stories and sessions on your blog!

7.) Include social sharing buttons!

If you’re a boudoir photographer, there’s a good chance you’re using various other social media platforms to promote your brand. Give your blog visitors an opportunity to easily share your fabulous content with their networks by including social sharing buttons within your blog posts.

8.) Be mindful of photo file sizes.

Like your website, your blog should feature high quality photos but be sure to keep each of them under 500KB. Filling your blog posts with extremely large photo files will seriously slow down page loading times. (And this is annoying 😩) Give your blog visitors a user-friendly experience so they stay around for a while!

9.) Make your content easy to search.

Whether you organize your posts by using categories and tags or simply offer search functionality within your blog, your content should be easy for visitors to sort through and navigate. (Pro Tip: Offering up a topic listing can definitely help lead people in the right direction!)

And there you have … nine tips for making your boudoir blog even more amazing than it already is!

Need a little help getting your boudoir photography blog off the ground.

Find out how we can help by requesting a free 15-minute consult today! We specialize in working with boudoir photographers just like you.

How To Design A Blog Post

Blogging is about more than just writing a wonderful piece of content that your audience will love. It’s about making it pleasing to the eye, too! It doesn’t matter how amazing your post is … if the page layout is distracting, confusing, or cluttered, your readers are going to bail. And what a shame that would be considering all of the time and effort it takes to create a post to begin with!

Today we’re going to share some tips on how to lay out each of your blog posts in an aesthetically pleasing way. Let’s hop to it.🐰

Ok, we love data and statistics so let’s start things off with this little nugget:

“According to a recent U.K. survey, bloggers have ranked as the third most trustworthy source of information, following only friends and family. That's right -- bloggers are trusted more than celebrities, journalists, brands, and politicians.”

(HubSpot)

If you’re providing valuable content consistently, it’s inevitable … you’re going to create a following. (Yay!👏🏼) However, people are visual. If your blog posts are filled with annoying pop-up ads or offer little relief in the way of white space, visitors are not going to stay for long. (Boo!👻) The good news: You do NOT need any kind of graphic design skills to lay your posts out in a visually appealing way! Simply follow these tips and you’ll be golden!

Tip 1: White space is your friend.

Ever visit a blog or website that’s stuffed like a Thanksgiving turkey with text? Everywhere you look, all you see is words, words, and more words! Ahhhhhh! That’s a big ouchy for the eyeballs. 👀

The trick with laying out any webpage is incorporating white space so the content feels easy to read and absorb. Make sure there’s a healthy amount of white space in the margins of your page as well as between paragraphs.

Tip 2: Organize your content with headers and bullets.

Most of us love to skim. We’re all super busy people who are on the hunt for fast access to information! Yes, it’s every blogger’s dream that visitors will sit down with a cup of coffee and leisurely soak in every last drop of each post. News flash: This is NOT reality! The majority of people scan content.

In a study on how people read websites, the Nielsen Norman Group discovered that…

“79 percent of test users always scanned any new page they came across; only 16 percent read word-by-word.”

Keeping this in mind, be sure to break up your content using headers, sub heads, and bullet points wherever possible. This will make your posts significantly easier to scan and digest.

Tip 3: Be on brand.

The imagery and accent colors used in your blog posts should represent the look, feel, and style of your brand. You don’t need to be like Skittles and utilize every color of the rainbow. In fact, that’s a bad idea when it comes to blog post design. Keep your color palette a simplistic representation of your brand.

Now let’s talk about imagery. If you’re in the business of photography, then you can pretty much skip this paragraph because, by nature, you already have a plethora of fantastic photos to choose from. (And we’re very jealous of you.) However, if you’re like the rest of us, you probably need to make use of stock photography.

Stock photos are a great way to add visual interest to your blog posts IF you’re selecting the right kinds of imagery. Be aware, there are some incredibly cheesy free stock photos floating around on the Internet. There are also some extremely beautiful stock images that you can use 100% free!

Our favorite sites for free stock photos are:

• Pixabay

• Pexels

• Unsplash

There are also sites such as Shutterstock, Getty Images, and Adobe Stock that you can purchase very unique, gorgeous stock photography from.

One important thing to mention here is NEVER EVER take a photo from Google images without fully understanding what the licensing and copyright details are. (In most cases, these photos belong to someone else and you don’t have permission to use them.) Your safest bet for incorporating photography into your blog posts is using one of the stock photography websites we’ve referenced above.

Tip 4: Make your links obvious.

If you link to other websites or resources within your blog post, make sure the hyperlinks are obvious so the reader knows where to click in case they wish to learn more. We use an accent color for our hyperlinks.

We also like to have external links open in a new window. This way, our website will remain open while the person is exploring a link that takes them off our site. If they do more clicking from there, our site will still be open in another tab and be easy to get back to if they wanted.

Tip 5: Place your CTAs above the fold.

Many business owners use their blog as a way to capture new leads. Aside from grabbing actual subscribers to your blog, you can utilize CTAs (calls-to-action) to get readers to click and complete some type of form. The CTA can be to download a guide (that relates to your blog post) or request a free consult. Whatever the action is that you want the reader to take next, be sure you tell them early on in the post! Remember, people tend to scan web pages and they don’t always make it all the way to the bottom. Place your enticing CTAs above the fold or above the point where they’d have to scroll to see more of the screen.

Tip 6: Offer a way to search.

We’ve all become spoiled by Google. We see a search box, plug in a few words, and BOOM! We’re instantaneously presented with all sorts of results! Your blog should offer this same level of convenience. Providing a search tool for readers will allow them to quickly find the type of content they’re looking for … and this will make them very happy.

And there you have it … six tips that can transform your blog for the better.

We design blogs using SquareSpace!

It’s the easiest, most user-friendly platform out there. If you’re looking to start a blog, free book a consult to learn more.

Tuesday Tip #14: 5 Tips To Balance Your Work And Life

Work and life. A constant struggle and balancing act that most professionals contend with daily. Are you the one at the office when your family is at the beach? Or maybe you’re always saying no to happy hour with friends because you just have to finish editing. Whatever the case might be, if you’re dedicated to your work, it’s sometimes tough to feel balanced in both aspects of your overall existence. 

We know it’s hard and we’re totally guilty of overworking and underplaying. However, we truly believe in the value of relationships and family ... and know how precious our time really is. We’ve restructured our way of life to ensure we have a work-life balance.

Here are five super easy tips that anyone can incorporate into their daily routine starting today! 

1. Stop and smell the roses. 

Dedicate distraction-free time for meal or coffee breaks. Walk away from your computer. Engage with other humans. Take a walk outside. Try to stay off your phone as it has a way of sucking you in. Truly unplug for at least 20 minutes. Clear your head. 

2. Punch out.

Take at least one day off per week that allows you to spend time with friends and family. At the very least, if you can’t take an entire day off, schedule any work for first thing in the morning so you’re done by noon and can enjoy the rest of the day without work hanging over your head. 

3. Take care of yourself.

Remember the saying, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Whether it’s a yoga session, massage, pedicure … whatever makes you unplug and rejuvenate … it will be a well-deserved gift to yourself. 

4. Seriously, think about it.

Meditate on WHY you're working as much as you are. Are you trying to create a better life for your children? Do you have a financial goal in mind for yourself? Whatever the case may be, remember that you’re living your life right now. Time is ticking by whether you’re working or not. Don’t live to work. Work to live. Enjoy today and enjoy the precious moments that are right in front of you. Goals are so important but don’t lose sight of your true priorities in life. 

5. Do nothing.

Per Winnie the Pooh, “Sometimes nothing leads to a whole lot of something.” If you’re job involves creativity, you can’t force yourself to come up with fresh and interesting ideas. It’s something that either comes to you or it doesn’t. In fact, if you’re tired or just simply tapped out, that creative block just gets worse and worse. Free your brain. Do absolutely nothing for a bit. Nothing can be remarkably rewarding, believe it or not. 

Bottom line: you weren’t put on this Earth to work yourself to death. You have value and life is worth enjoying. Don’t lose sight of that. Don’t compromise your goals. Don’t compromise your quality of life and relationships. 

Every Tuesday we share easy and actionable advice you can take to refresh your current marketing plan. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram to see more!  

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Tuesday Tip #10: How To Grow Your Social Media

You have so much to say and share with the world. You have incredible content full of relevant and captivating information. You need zero validation. You’ve got this. You post your content on Instagram and then grab the popcorn, anxiously awaiting to see your notifications light up like a Christmas tree … but then, nothing.

So, of course, the next logical move is to pay for ads and boosted content. You’ll see a spike in activity, assuming you’ve created an appropriate audience and have allotted a reasonable budget. However, is that spike in activity doing anything for you in the long run?

Let’s talk good old organic growth. This brings me back to the saying, “If you give a man a fish, he will eat for a night but if you teach him how to fish he will eat for years to come.” I know we’re not talking about fish but hear me out. If you pay for ads as a quick way to grab attention, that’s great ... but are you grabbing those likes as new followers? Or was it a single like on a single post and that was the end of that?

Now, if you take the time to build a foundation and grow your base of followers through consistency, engagement, and mutual interest, you will have invested followers who will continuously see your content and potentially share it and/or engage with it. And your growth will continue.

Alright, so how does one accomplish this? There are so many ways, as Hubspot outlines in this article but one of the key tools is social media growth. Think of your Instagram account, for example, as a tiny sapling. I like magnolia trees so I’m going to use that for my vision. Ok, so you plant your brand new baby tree. You nurture it and feed it. If you continuously and consistently care for it, your little tree will grow, digging its roots deeper and blossoming into a beautiful, flowering adult.

Now let me translate. I’m going to provide you with three keys to social media growth, which involves nurturing your followers like a tiny sapling. And it’s so simple that you won’t believe it. However, being simple doesn’t mean effortless. Remember, watering your baby tree is easy but constant care and attention is what really matters. 

1. Follow other accounts.

The more people you follow, the higher the likelihood of them following you back. Take advantage of Instagram’s super handy list of recommendations on accounts to follow. Trying to obtain followers without following them first can be challenging. Think of it as a give and take relationship. You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours.

2. Show interest. 

We have all fallen victim of the random bot comments under our posts. Example: You post a photo of a magnolia tree that you recently planted and you get the random comment of, “Wow, you look great.” Or possibly a one word comment like, “Cool.” For the most part, those are either comments from bots or they’re people being paid to grow an audience (and doing a crappy job at it). Generic irrelevant responses typically stick out like a sore thumb. Don’t be that account posting them. Like posts. Engage by commenting. And be sure your comments are specific and relevant!

3. Respond to comments left under your content. 

Show an interest in your followers and give gratitude for them showing interest in you! Again, the more your audience sees real-life engagement happening within your account, the more likely they’ll become invested in what you have to say. Comments, likes, and shares lead to GROWTH.

Remember, for as enormous as the world of social media is, it strangely is a small world at the same time. Take the time to nurture your audience and you'll reap the benefits of a healthy and steadily blooming magnolia tree for all to enjoy and aspire to have. 

Need a little help growing your small business social media accounts? Learn more about our Social Growth package! 
 

Every Tuesday we share easy and actionable advice you can take to refresh your current marketing plan. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram to see more!  

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Tuesday Tip #7: Be Authentic

Over the weekend, my husband and I went out for Mexican food. I couldn’t help but laugh that the restaurant claimed to be serving authentic Mexican food. Being a frequent traveler to Mexico, this food was anything but authentic. This got me thinking about marketing, of course, and the importance of keeping it real.

Be authentic. B-E Authentic. (I dare ya to shake that little tune out of your head. #SorryNotSorry)

According to statistics highlighted at Vision Critical, authenticity is absolutely crucial if you want to see continued success. Of course, authenticity means different things to different people. However, a pretty solid relationship amongst all consumers is that they want to trust you and your brand. They will most definitely choose you over another company based on how you have presented yourself and how authentic you are. 

FUN FACT! Millennials officially make up the majority of the voting age population and the workforce and they’re close to making up the majority of entrepreneurs. (Pew Research Center)

Research has identified that Millennials (who will rule the world before you know it) simply don’t trust advertisements. By nature, they’re skeptical. (HuffPost Blog) They gravitate toward a company that offers a likable, relatable, and real presence over a company with an abrasive or sketchy approach. 

So what does that mean? It means you need to be real and offer a relatable product or service. You need to be active on social networks and build a relationship with your audience. Then you shall see that they’ll come to you, just like that. (I’m picturing the scene from Ace Ventura, “Come to me jungle friends!”)

I’m not a Millennial (or am I?) and I find myself shying away from companies that I find to be disingenuous. I prefer to support a local, small business with personality and flavor over a larger operation that has lost touch with its mission or morals. 

Going back to my Mexican restaurant experience over the weekend … Was it tasty? Yes. Authentic? No. (BTW ... Click here for a fun read if you're a foodie.) In this case, no harm was done as I am an eater of all tacos but I think you catch my drift. Don’t try to be something you’re not.

Every Tuesday we share easy and actionable advice you can take to refresh your current marketing plan. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram to see more!  

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Tuesday Tip #2: Communicating With Your Customers

We all have different preferred methods of contact. As a business owner, you’re most likely already stretched pretty thin so it’s important to ensure you’re not setting yourself up to fail by advertising contact methods you can’t keep up with. For example, if you give your customers the option to message you on Facebook, you better be checking those messages regularly (and replying to them). An unanswered inquiry or question can easily result in a lost lead or customer. 

1. CHOOSE WISELY.

Choose your methods of contact based on your ability to monitor and reply quickly and efficiently. If you own a construction company and frequently visit job sites throughout the day, you may prefer clients contact you via phone rather than email for the sake of convenience. Regardless of your preferred method of contact, one thing is for sure … you need to tell your customers what it is!

2. NIX THE CHANNELS YOU CAN'T HANDLE.

Disable methods of contact that you are unfamiliar with or do not think you can manage appropriately. For example, if you are rarely on Facebook yet have Messenger enabled on your business page, you may want to consider removing that feature. Remember, you never want to leave people hanging for long periods of time after they reach out to you.

3. UTILIZE AUTO-MESSAGES.

If you can’t disable certain methods of communication, set up an auto-message that will provide inquirers alternative options for contacting you. If you are planning a vacation or some time off from work, remember to set up an auto-reply for your email. Again, it’s all about setting appropriate expectations for leads and customers. 

Every Tuesday we share easy and actionable advice you can take to refresh your current marketing plan. Follow us on Facebook and Instagram to see more!  

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6 Tips To Avoid Being Voted “Most Hated” In the Workplace

Let’s take a moment to talk about professional courtesy. Scratch that. Let’s just talk about plain courtesy. Throughout the course of my career, I have been in positions where I got to speak and work with customers, clients, coworkers, and agents from other companies … and the list goes on. Bottom line, I have become a self-taught expert in dealing with people. So here is my question: at what point did it become acceptable for people not to be courteous? I do not expect everyone to be Susie Sunshine all day, every day. I understand that people have bad days. However, there are some basics that I would think are just standard and not that difficult to abide by. In this blog post, I’m going to share my six tips to avoid being voted “Most Hated” in the workplace!

1. Show up.

Sounds pretty simple, right? In the managerial positions I have held, a huge peeve of mine was when people just didn’t show up ... no show, no call. Would it kill you to just send a quick text to say you’re running late or can’t make it? After all this was a date and time that YOU agreed to at some point in time. 

In my days of real estate, I couldn’t even count the number of times that I had made an appointment and sat at a location waiting for well over 30 minutes for someone who never showed up. Sometimes I would call or text and the person wouldn’t even respond with an apology! On occasion, I would get a text back … something to the effect of, “something came up” or “Oops. I forgot.” Ok, things happen. I get it. However, please remember that someone is on the other side of this arrangement and would very much appreciate a heads-up so their time isn’t wasted. 

I know some people might think that if they have to either cancel an appointment or miss a day of work, the other person or their manager will be upset. Newsflash: they’ll be more upset if they get blown off completely. Time wasted is not going to make anyone happy. 

2. Be nice.

Super basic. In my everyday life, I’m actually in shock with the number of adults that are just plain nasty. Again, let me use an example from real estate. I unfortunately had too many dealings with some not-so-nice agents. And it would always blow my mind. They had a client selling a house. I had a client buying a house. Seems to me like we had a common goal! However, entering the contract phase felt more like entering the gauntlet! I get it. They were protecting their client as I was protecting mine. What I never understood was why I felt like I was participating in a live reenactment of the Battle of Gettysburg.

Here’s the thing. We all have had different life experiences and we all have come from different professional backgrounds. We do not need to do brunch and be besties … but can we please appreciate each other for what the other has to offer? I can guarantee that if we put our differences aside, we can make magic happen.

This, of course, applies outside of real estate ... rudeness happens in all industries. The common link in all industries? Humans. So just be nice. If someone rubs you the wrong way, chalk it up to them having a bad day. Don’t snap back. Be polite and professional. If they continually prove to just be a rotten Anna Banana (because Lord knows these exist), then kill them with kindness. It will likely diffuse the hostility and it will give you satisfaction. I promise. As much as it may pain you, keep in mind that if a person acts miserable all the time, they probably lead a pretty unhappy life to begin with. Don’t add to the negativity. 

Tip 2: Don't be the rotten banana.

3. Follow through.

If you say you are going to do something, do it. At the same time, if you aren’t going to do something, do not say that you will. Nothing is more frustrating (especially when you are battling deadlines) than when you are patiently waiting for someone else to deliver their piece of the puzzle.

People are going to count on you. In some cases, it means they have put their rump on the line for you, too. Even if bailing on a commitment may seemingly only make you look bad, think about how it will make the company or client you are representing look. If you can’t deliver, do not commit. 

4. Give credit when credit is due.

I remember feeling bummed after being declined for a position I had applied for. I remember feeling disappointed when I didn’t get a promotion I thought I deserved. These are what we call letdowns. And we all face many of them in this life! While your first instinct might be to show animosity toward the person who did get the job or score the promotion, don’t be a sore loser. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and congratulate that coworker!

I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason and at the exact moment when it’s supposed to happen. So if something didn’t work out for you, there’s a good chance there’s an opportunity around the corner that’s meant just for you. 

Keep in mind, too, that this is an opportunity for you to soak in some constructive feedback. If you find yourself in a position where you see a fellow business owner in a similar field, or a coworker in the same department, receive special recognition, take this as an opportunity to reevaluate your company, yourself, and your way of doing things. Many times you can learn from your competition and colleagues. Be the bigger person. Shake their hand. Give them a high five. Give them credit, as it is due. Not only will you come out smelling like roses but that type of sportsmanship will be noticed and pay you back in the future. 

5. Mind yo business.

Rule of thumb: Not your circus, not your monkeys. Busy bodies find themselves in the middle of some ugly pickles because they should have just stayed out of it. This especially applies in a professional setting. Your work is your livelihood. It literally feeds your kids, makes your car payment, keeps a roof over your head. Do you really want to compromise all of that because you couldn’t resist adding to the daily gossip about Sammy Salamander sleeping with his assistant? Stay away. Do not get involved. Mind your own monkeys. 

Tip 5: Mind your monkeys.

6. Support each other.

I, of course, am very vocal about women supporting other women in business. Regardless of your gender, orientation, color, education, economic class, favorite boy band ... we need to join together and help each other out. Albert Einstein (I hear he was a pretty smart dude) made a very bold statement that has always stuck with me. 

“I speak to everyone in the same way, whether he is the garbage man or the president of the University.”

— Albert Einstein

If you can help someone, why not? No one knows 100% of everything. I know I don’t. I’ll bet you don’t either. Even if you have been in your industry for 35 years, there is always something new to learn. If you have an apprentice come into the shop, why not take him under your wing as opposed to heckling him?

I was very fortunate to have a friend in the real estate industry who had been doing it for much longer than me. If I ever had a question, she was always more than happy to help me. She could have just as easily taken on the attitude of, “Why should I help her? She's the competition. She should figure this out on her own.” Guess what though? Anytime she had a question about animals or marketing, I was there for her. 

Be that go-to person. It will come back tenfold. (Just as it will come back in its ugliest form if you aren’t helpful to someone just because you are on your high horse.) Remember, you never know when you will encounter that garbage man again. It just so happens that his name might be the signature on your paycheck one day.

I will leave you with this: 

“Courtesy is a silver lining around the dark clouds of civilization; it is the best part of refinement and in many ways, an art of heroic beauty in the vast gallery of man’s cruelty and baseness.”

— Bryant H. McGill

Oh, and one more thing. Never swipe someone's banana, Chobani yogurt, or any other food item from the break room. That's totally not cool. And your co-workers will hate you for it.

-Katie
 

How To Handle Difficult Customers: Invaluable Tips From My Time In A Call Center

(l to r) The Screamer, Mr. Important, Kathy, and Mr. Smarty Pants

I should have written a book of short stories on the many memorable experiences I had while working in a customer service center. I have also come to the realization that I would likely have to categorize the book as fictional since there’s no way anyone would believe the stories were actually real! People are just plain crazy sometimes and, most days, even I couldn’t believe what was happening. 

So, in my time as a Customer Service Agent ... then Supervisor ... then Assistant Manager of the entire Mad House ... I learned a trick or two on how to handle irate customers. (Irate is a polite way of saying completely out of their minds.) In fact, I was presented with awards for my skills in speaking Nutso.

The customer service center I worked for was a well-known local bank. It wasn’t a terribly huge bank but, at the time, it was a rapidly growing bank ... and every single call came straight to our department. The majority of calls were pretty simple. Balance inquiries, online banking questions, home equity applications … all that fun stuff. 

As an agent, I did everything in my power to handle every call from start to finish and strived to leave every customer on a positive note. It was rare I couldn’t handle even the angriest of people on my own (which is what got me the fancy promotion that essentially equated to all of the agents transferring their escalated customers to me. Sounds fun, eh?) Well, I actually enjoyed it … I saw each angry customer as a challenge and an opportunity. The satisfaction of turning the most irate customer into someone who asks to speak to my supervisor to compliment my service … well, that right there was priceless. So how did I do it? How do I continue to use those skills in everyday life? I’m feeling generous so I’m going to let you in on my secrets.

Before we jump into all of the fun, I want to make something very clear. People can be rude, nasty, entitled, and downright hurtful. I’m going to give you some tips to handle these types but, if at the end of the day you simply aren’t making a breakthrough, it is OK to end a conversation. You are a human being and deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. I don’t care how mad someone is … they do not have a right to bash or abuse you. It’s not appropriate and you have the right to protect yourself. Got it? Ok, let’s go. 

The Screamer

The first customer we are going to talk about is The Screamer. The one who thinks they are way more important than you and feels they have the right to scream their foolish head off. Oh yeah, I know you are thinking of that special someone right now. So, here’s the secret.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Did you get that? It’s not a trick … just some good ol’ silence.

You see, someone can only scream for so long. They will eventually run out of things to say (or perhaps lose their voice). The worst thing you can ever do with The Screamer is stoop to their level. Never yell back. NEVER. This will simply escalate the situation and you will not come out smelling like roses.

The Screamer will eventually stop, I promise. They will absolutely check to make sure you are still there and listening … and there you will be, patiently waiting to make all their dreams come true. After several moments of silence, you will simply say, “OK, I understand you’re upset. I’m happy to help you with this issue. I just need to ask you a few questions first.” The key part to this is acknowledging they’re upset and that they’ve been heard. Silence followed by acknowledgement works like a charm every single time.

Mr. (or Mrs.) Important

Now let’s explore one of the ugliest customers … Mr. or Mrs. Important. The person who immediately drops the “do you know who I am?” line. This brings me back about 13 years. Way before I had any customer service experience. I was working a part-time gig that happened to be for a municipality. There was a resident who called to make a complaint about a neighbor’s dog. I don’t remember the exact details of the complaint but I do remember that, whatever it was, it didn’t warrant any action on my part. Well, this resident was not happy to hear that. And little did I know, I was speaking to Mr. Important.

He proceeded to tell me that I better do something because he plays golf with Dick. Now keep in mind, I was young at the time and I hadn’t learned the appropriate way to handle customers yet. I replied, “Who the hell is Dick? And why do I care if you golf with him?”

Long story short, Dick was the mayor of the town I was working for (and our department reported directly to him ... oops). I can laugh about it now but my manager was not laughing then. Nothing ever came of that but my point is that we all encounter these types. So how should we handle these name-dropping people of importance?

In a nutshell, you should treat them just as you would any other customer. Show them professionalism, be courteous, and help them to the best of your ability. Do NOT break policy or procedure for them. Especially if they’re name-dropping YOUR name to your employees! I personally would be furious with any of my friends or family for trying to bully one of my employees. I would especially be angry if they suggested that my employees break rules or not abide to standards that I have set. That’s insulting and downright disrespectful. Not to mention, the poor employee gets put into a situation where they might fear for their job if they don’t do a favor for this person.

Needless to say, do not start coloring outside the lines when it comes to Mr. or Mrs. Important. Adhere to your policies and values because that’s how you gain and maintain the respect of both your customers and your team! 

Karen

I saw a meme the other day that made me chuckle. It read “Do babies named Karen even exist or do they just appear one day with three kids and wanna speak to the manager?” No offense to the Karens out there ... I still love ya! However, these warrior women (who I’ll refer to as Karen) do exist. They’re the crazy mama dramas. Do not underestimate them. After all, they gave birth to a child and you are no match for what this storm is brewing.

Don’t get me wrong. I have been Karen. There have been times when I had no time for nonsense. Like the time something was wrong with my electric bill or the time my cell phone stopped working and I just didn’t have the patience or energy to deal with a customer service representative. (Top that off with my extremely high standards for customer service representatives and you have yourself an interesting situation when I’m not a happy camper.)

With all that said, I started at the bottom of the food chain in Corporate America. I’ve sat in that seat so I make it a point to not be rude to agents as I know how that feels. However, I’m not the majority. You will deal with Karen many times. (Let’s just hope it’s not when her three hungry kids are in the back seat and she’s fuming because her debit card isn’t working at McDonald’s. Trust me. I have taken that call before. It wasn’t pretty.)

My advice for handling Karen is to use the empathy card. Use it well and use it wisely. Do NOT take on an angry mama. You will not win. Empathy MUST be sincere. You must mean it (or it better be damn believable if you’re lying). Just like with The Screamer, Karen also just wants to be heard. More than anything though, she wants her problem fixed PRONTO.

In these escalated situations, the best way to bring the intensity down a couple notches is to simply use a phrase like, “It must be very frustrating that you’re experiencing X issue. I’m so sorry about that but we’re going to get this fixed for you.”

You can also add a personal touch in your response. Using my “mom at McDonald’s” scenario as an example: “As a mom, I completely understand your frustrations. My kid doesn’t like to wait for dinner either so let me get right to work so we can resolve this for you.” Sometimes just a morsel of compassion goes a very long way. 

One last thought, make sure you fix their problem right the first time. The only thing scarier than the initial interaction with Karen is if you didn’t fix her issue correctly and she calls or comes back. If this happens, just run. 

Mr. (or Mrs.) Smarty Pants

The final customer that I will touch upon is Mr. or Mrs. Smarty Pants. These are the customers that are simply not right. I know the saying goes that ‘the customer is always right” but there is an exception to the rule. It’s these guys. You will undoubtedly run into a know-it-all at least several times throughout your career in customer service. No matter what the industry, you will have that customer who 100% knows your product/service/procedures way better than you do. (Please tell me you are sensing my sarcasm.) They will be wrong, oh so wrong, but they are going to get downright nasty with you because either they refuse to recognize they are wrong or they have at some point realized they’re wrong and can’t deal.

I recall a very specific situation I dealt with while working at the bank. I had the pleasure [sarcasm] of assisting a very wealthy local business owner. He was provided with a new business debit card and was having trouble activating it. As with all customers, I offered to walk him through the process. I just asked that he be at the ATM when he called so I could watch his account as he was making the attempt to activate his card. Seems simple enough, right?

Well, this customer would repeatedly call (and not be at an ATM) and demand that I change his PIN as that was definitely the issue. Each time I would explain to him that I saw no attempts on his account supporting his theory but would change the PIN nonetheless. I would again ask him to attempt the activation while having me on the phone, which he refused to do because he was too busy. I would also try to ask him questions about the card but he would always rush off the phone (and make comments to the effect that he knew better than me). 

Well who am I to argue with Mr. Smarty Pants? This went on for over a week. Each day he would call and would become increasingly more irate. Lucky for me, he remembered my name so he would specifically ask for me. Oh joy. He insulted my intelligence on more levels than I ever knew existed. Well, after the sixth phone call with Prince Charming I finally put my foot down. I said that I was not going to change his PIN again and that he needed to read me the card number because his theory was not lining up with our system.

I can tell you that it was not his PIN at all. He was attempting to use a card issued from a different bank all together! Do you think he apologized? Nope. But there was an enormous moment of grand satisfaction in that silence after he realized he was wrong this whole time.

As much as you want to, do not gloat. You can bask in your silent “screw you” moment all day long. Once you have resolved the issue or satisfied your customer’s needs, just be glad the torture is over and move on. Still thank them for being a customer because, at the end of the day, that is where your cash money comes from.

I find that these customers enjoy being recognized for all their knowledge. They like to be fussed over a bit. Guess what? It won’t kill you to give in a little bit. After all, you MAY just learn something from them as much as it pains you to admit it. All it takes is a “Wow, thank you for that information" or "Such a great tip!”

In the case with Mr. Smarty Pants I had a giant list of naughty words for him but I let it go. I simply said “Well I am glad we were able to solve the mystery. I was certainly just as stumped as you were. Have a great day.” I vow to never visit or do business with one of his establishments because he was so horrible to me ... but that’s just my way of giving him the middle finger. 

Listen, I know this is a very short list of the many difficult customers that you encounter daily. Just sharing a few of my experiences with the hope that you’ll find them useful. My mother used to always tell me, “You may not like this person but just be glad you don’t need to take them home with you.” Spot on, Mom. Spot on.

-Katie
 

Setting Unrealistic Resolutions as a Working Mom

Yesterday was a snow day here in New England. When I woke up to that white wonderland, I had three thoughts:

1. Oh good, I can write that New Year’s Resolution blog I’ve been dying to get done.
   

2. Oh God, I am stuck in a house with four dogs and a toddler who will undoubtedly be bored out of their mind by 10:00 a.m.

3. Thank God my husband is home to endure the torture with me. (I am an awful wife.)

As I sat there at 12:30 in the afternoon, I felt a tad accomplished. I was able to convince a wild 3-year-old to wash her hands after she attempted to use the potty but somehow peed on her stuffed bunny instead. (Mind you, not until after a battle that should be documented in history books.) I was able to trick my chihuahua into taking his medication. Yet another tribulation in my book of horrors. (I outsmarted the little monster with turkey sausage. Katie 1. Pepino 0.) I have watched Moana seven times consecutively without harming myself and I successfully made mac and cheese from a box. Look at me go!

Pepino the Chihuahua

2018, here you are. In all your glory. What will you have in store and what resolutions does one make? In this moment, I am thinking my resolution should be to learn the song that the giant crab sings in Moana as well as my daughter. It’s shocking, really, how that shiny crab can be so damn captivating. I know you are already singing the song in your head… resist the urge. Resist.

As a mother, wife, and wrangler of what seems like 65 dogs, I think my resolution in my personal life is to just keep my head above water. Maybe it should be laundry-related. Yes! My resolution is to not drown in laundry! Does that count? I can of course rely on the go-to resolutions that seem very popular. Lose 20 pounds. Exercise every day. Join a yoga class. Eat more kale. Hah! I am laughing too.

The movie Bad Moms has been playing on HBO lately. Although controversial to like it, I am not going to lie. I get some serious laugh-out-loud moments out of it. I’ve heard through the grapevine that I should be insulted by this movie as a working mom. Guess what? I am not. The only thing offensive about the movie is how the main character lives in this gorgeous four-bedroom craftsman in what I’m assuming is an upper-class California suburb, all while working a part-time gig at a coffee company. Kind of like these newly wed couples on House Hunters who have a 2.3-million-dollar budget and their occupations are butterfly catcher and paper snowflake maker.

"The only thing offensive about the movie is how the main character lives in this gorgeous four-bedroom craftsman in what I’m assuming is an upper-class California suburb, all while working a part-time gig at a coffee company." -Katie Ehlers on Bad Moms

Anyway, the basis of the Bad Moms movie is that moms aren’t perfect and that’s ok. The pressures that we as a society put on ourselves to be these Pinterest-perfect robots is insane. Listen, I am not saying it’s ok to just throw in the towel and actually be a bad mom. You have created these little lunatics and it’s your job to love them, care for them, and attempt to mold them into hopefully responsible, productive, and kind adults. I slid the “kind” in because there is just too much ugly in our world right now. So do me a favor and teach your kid to be nice. Polite would be awesome, too. But I’ll take what I can get.

My point is, you are not perfect. No one is. As a mom, whether it be stay-at-home or working-out-of-the-home, you have a lot on your plate. So set realistic resolutions for yourself. They can be selfish (in fact, I encourage at least one selfish resolution) and productive.

Here are my actual resolutions this year.

1. Be nicer to our dogs.

I love our dogs. We all do. They give us undying love and loyalty. Unfortunately, though, they sometimes take a seat on the back burner when our lives get crazy. They are, of course, loved and cared for. However, I want to devote more time to them. Each of them individually. I want to make a conscious effort to not get frustrated with them if they are looking for attention when I just want five seconds to myself. I will also make sure not to get angry with them if they have chewed something they shouldn’t have. As in all reality, if I had been paying more attention to them, they wouldn’t have went looking for something else to entertain them.

2. Write one or two blog posts every four weeks.

I enjoy writing so it’s not a chore to do so. It’s more of a challenge to just make myself dedicate 45 minutes to just sitting down and writing. It is my creative outlet and it really should be a personal and professional priority. (P.S. If you're a small business owner, you should consider making blogging your resolution, too! Read why in our 5 Small Business Marketing Resolutions For 2018.)

3. Drink more water.

I do believe that a healthier version of you will allow you to keep up with the craziness of what we call life. I completely understand that running five miles every day isn’t realistic for everyone. (Don’t listen to Jamie, she’s a freak of nature.) However, I DO believe that everyone can make healthier nutritional choices and add some sort of physical activity to their day. Baby steps work. I am not nearly as healthy, or active as my work-wife. However, I do have a relatively healthy diet, and workout pretty regularly. Water consumption is an issue for me, for whatever reason. So, that’s my baby step.

4. Do not overfill my plate!

I am notorious for trying to stuff 100 things into eight hours. It is stress-inducing and really not productive. I want to be more organized in my planning and have achievable to-do lists and itineraries.

5. Treat myself to one pedicure or massage at least once every 60 days (see … selfish!).

Listen, I am no professional resolution-setter or achiever. I am just someone who has learned from some mistakes and have taught myself to take care of me so that I can in turn take care of my family, too. If I burn myself out, I am not useful to anyone, personally or professionally.

It’s really very easy to let yourself be completely consumed and overwhelmed by a full workload, and then a toddler asking me why her purple Lego is in fact purple one hundred times over. I totally get it. Set achievable resolutions, so you don’t set yourself up to fail. At the end of the day, there is a real possibility that you just might not successfully end this year by sticking to your resolution(s) 100%. The world will not end. Your life will not shatter. But give it your best shot. You got this.

Ok working warriors, set those resolutions. Be realistic. Treat yo’self. In the words of the great Maui the demigod, “You’re Welcome” (in song form).

-Katie